It’s hard to write blog posts right now. I keep meaning to, but life’s a little twisty right now. “That Feeling” is back, the one where my vision gets kind of flat-but-tunnelled, and sparkly-black like I’m looking through a very thin sheet of obsidian; “Hollow-vision”, I’ve come to call it. Spirit Stuff is afoot, and I can’t seem to get away from it. I feel hollowed-out, but at the same time full to bursting with some kind of itchy, impatient almost-energy, like a cicada trying to get out of its shell, a snake from its skin, etc. etc. tra la. At least by now, it’s happened enough times that it doesn’t severely disrupt my everyday life.
So it seems like some kind of change is coming. It’s almost “about time!”, except that I know that Life Afterward will be both more simple and more complicated than it is now. I almost don’t mind that, which is usual for me at this point, because the plateau gets so unbearable that almost any change in spiritual momentum is welcome. It’s a little scary, though, because with power comes responsibility, and obligations, and necessity, and…
I almost feel like I know where the change is going, except that to speak it aloud (or type it explicitly) might jinx it. I know I have been pushed over the last few months into work/Work I never though I’d be doing – public work, healing work, specifically spiritual work. This time last year I was gearing myself up for domestic/semi-monastic devotional service, but instead it seemed to initiate my latest (and hopefully last major) USC – Undefined Spiritual Crisis. I’ve had friends refer to it as “Initiatory Crisis”, associates ask if it was Shaman Sickness, acquaintances suggest “spiritual development peaks”… I’m loath to name it. My Gods are silent on the question, standing under the banner of “you’ve got to experience it to understand it”.
I do know that at lest, right now I’m in the best place possible, practically speaking, to deal with this with a minimum of fuss (I hope). So… chop wood, carry water.
Lighthouses of the Soul 